A fresh stance for Wrapping Headmaster for our logistics fellowship has just been commenced. Our partnership offers a very proper remuneration & instructional case [They're leaning pretty heavily on that thesaurus, aren't they?] to establish ya'll as a worker of our management's improving 'n' favorably effectual community. [“Ya'll”? They're speaking my language, except the apostrophe should come between the “y” and “a”]
We established your contact through the CareerBuilder online place & think that UR mastery would be precious for the firm. [I am precious!] If you are intrigued by our job, please, do not hesitate to send an e-mail to our team so our comradeship's HR hosts would be acquainted with you to display ya'll more work description.
If ya'll can corporally make work in thy building [what exactly does that mean?] starting from nine AM to five PM, ya'll might have cash. The pith of our camaraderie's location is to manage with packages. [obviously written by AI, further proof that artificial intelligence… isn't] Things that will be thy immediate responsibilities: have wrappings out of some one addresser, make another pack for them according our camaraderie's guide, & to transmit shipments to other destination.
You all will not be obliged to have business with hard packs. [Thank goodness for that!] Commonly, you will retrieve clothing or toys inside the packs. Educative material [“educational”?] is given without fee. Usually, women which just launch work for us, gain near 1000 bucks per 5-6 working days.
Please, send a letter to our community through email. But think that being at dwelling from 9 o'clock to 17.00 is an obligatory thing to be able to be employed to mentioned post (otherwise, the mentioned job is not for ya'll, unhappily)."
I like this one for its brevity, I guess. Not even pretending to be Nigerian